The Benga Bus Has Ended . . .

Okay, so I know that the real song by the Vengaboys is about the Venga Bus (We Like to Party), but really the lyrics apply to this too. In case you do not know the lyrics, I have typed them at the end of this post.

Christine Morteh operated a luxury black bus that cruised around South Beach, weaving between hot spots that were frequented by tourists and club-goers. If you wanted to ride on the bus, it cost $40. However, this was not the typical luxury bus. For $40, patrons were offered a ride to certain locations, as well as unlimited alcoholic drinks. Additionally, the bus provided entertainment. During the trip, several young women would string down to a G-string, that was frequently stuffed with cash, and offer to perform sexual acts with the bus' patrons.

If you were interested in taking a ride on the bus, it is a little to late. On Sunday, June 22, the police arrested Morteh and shutdown the operation. After reading about this, I was surprised to hear two things. One, that the "cover" charge was only $40 and that the cost of the sexual acts was never released. Two, that someone would actually pay to have sexual acts done to them, while riding on a bus with other patrons around. I guess that put a whole new meaning to R Kelly's hit "Bump N' Grind" ("I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.")

We Like To Party Lyrics

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party

I've got something to tell ya
I've got news for you
Gonna put some wheels in motion
Get ready 'cause we're coming through
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
We'll be there for you

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party

Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
We'll be there for you

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body

The Vengabus is coming
And everybody's jumping
New York to San Fransisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
Get on and move your body

We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party
We like to party
We like, we like to party

The Vengabus is coming, the Vengabus is coming
The Vengabus is coming, the Vengabus is..

Happy National HIV Testing Day!

Okay, so last month I listed a few "interesting" national month holidays for the month of May. Well, I thought it would be fun to do that for June, until I realized today is National HIV Testing Day. National HIV Testing Day is an annual campaign by the National Association of People with Aids to encourage at-risk individuals to receive voluntary HIV counseling and testing. This is something serious that our country, let alone the world, faces and the more people know about their status the better. So help spread the word. If you are unsure of your status, go get tested.

Stay or Go: If you are handicapped you are screwed!

Okay, so could you imagine being at a bar and not being able to leave? The bartender will not serve you another drink because you are clearly intoxicated, but you cannot leave, for fear of being charged with drunk driving because you are in a wheel chair?

So maybe this is a gross exaggeration of what happened to a man in Australia, but it is feasible. Last Friday, a man in a motorized wheelchair was found in a slumber an exit lane on a highway and was charged with drunk driving. While the fact he was on the highway is troubling. However, what is even more troubling is the fact that the police gave the man a breathalyzer test and stated that since he was over the legal limit, he would be charged with “operating a vehicle while drunk.” The man’s location did not matter to the police, who did mention that he placed himself in “a very dangerous situation.” I am truly wondering where the line is. If a handicapped person is at a bar, does not feel safe to get home, and calls for a taxi, technically, the police can charge them with drunk driving the minute you exit the bar. How fair is this?

Execution of Child Rapist = Cruel and Unusual Punishment?

Today must be a full moon, because this is the second story today that has ruffled my feathers. The Supreme Court today, has rules that child rapists cannot be executed, because among other things, it would be cruel and unusual. Now, I would love to hear why this is cruel or unusual.

The case at hand involved a stepfather, Patrick Kennedy, who raped his 8-year-old stepdaughter. There are way too many sources to list, but I think we can all agree that the gill will never be the same. Outside of the physical of injuries could may heal, this man has essentially killed the girl's innocence, childhood, and trust. But the Court's majority has decided that killing this man would be excessive, because executions should only be limited to cases where the criminal committed intentional first-degree murder. There is no doubt that this man's actions were intentional. As an aside, if this girl is now unable to bear children, would the court find castration an acceptable punishment or is that cruel and unusual too?

The Court stated that criminal punishment is limited to only the worst of crimes, I have to wonder how much worse is murder to child rape? I am by no means arguing that capital punishment is appropriate in all rape cases (although I am against rape is all fashions). I do believe that it should be on the table for prosecutors to utilize in the cases which they feel it is necessary, such as this one. The fact that people are arguing that if the death penalty was applicable to rapists, then they would be more inclined to kill their victims is ludicrous. Studies have shown that most criminals do not limit their actions based on the repercussions, and that is especially true in the case of a violent or deviant perpetrators. And even if this was true, then is it possible that by increasing the penalty, more people would be deterred from raping a child? The argument could clearly swing both ways. Rarely am I so critical of a Supreme Court decision, but I do have say, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING?

Who Really Cares If There Was A Pact?

Okay, so rarely do I get this riled about newspaper coverage, but I do have to say, I am getting tired of all of the coverage the girls from Gloucester High School in Massachusetts are getting. I think as a society, we are asking the wrong question. Do we really care if there was a pregnancy pact between the seventeen girls that are now pregnant. Isn't the proper question, why did they decide to get pregnant? Let's assume arguendo, that there was a pact, wouldn't the reason behind the pact be more important than the pact itself? And if there wasn't a pact, does that mean there was something in the water in Gloucester, Massachusetts? When will we forget about the stupid he said she said and get to the real question: why are high school kids getting pregnant?

Conclusion of the Car Saga

So I am happy to report that the car saga has finally ended. :) After fighting, and I do mean fighting, with the insurance company, they finally agreed to pay for all of the damages. Based on this, the body shop did all of the repairs and I picked up the car. However, at that time, I still had not received a check from the insurance company. So, I contacted them, and as usual, I had to leave a message. The next day, I received the checks and called the insurance company, because the check was made payable to my last name first, which I thought was odd. The insurance company told me that was normal, so I just deposited the check. Well, three days later, my bank contacted me saying that there was a stop payment on the check. As you could imagine, I was livid. So I had to call the insurance company again, and ask them what the freak! Needless to say, she was like, you told me to cancel it, and I was like um, what? If I said that, why would have I tried to deposit it? It didn't make sense. A new check was mailed to me and the call ended with the insurance company hanging up on me. I LOVE THEIR CUSTOMER SERVICE!!! I am just happy to report that my car is repaired and I finally have been paid by the insurance company (I think!).

American Express Has Been Replaced By A Sports Bra

Growing up the slogan that I had always heard associated with American Express is Don't Leave Home Without It. However, for Jessica Bruinsma, the one thing that she is happy that she did not leave home without is her sports bra. Bruinsma is a 24-year-old Colorado resident, who was hiking in the Bavarian Alps. On June 16, Bruinsma was separated from her friend during a bad weather storm, near the Austrian border.

In fact, Bruinsma took a wrong step and she fell 16.4 feet, causing a bruise on her leg and dislocating her shoulder. Luckily she landed on a narrow ledge where she was about to find a supply box that contained water. During her 70 hours on the ledge, she noticed a cable that is used for timber transport nearby. So she took off her sports bra and attached it to the cable. The only reason the cable was anywhere near the ledge, is because it was out of service and was to have work done on it. Needless to say, when the serviceman appeared to work on the line and he raised the cable and saw the bra, he called the authorities. After her whole ordeal, Bruinsma has decided to change her plans of staying in Berchtesgaden and learning German to going back home to her parents.

If there was one thing you were going to bring when you go hiking, what would it be?

When Escaping From Jail . . . Watch Your Step

In what seems like something out of a cartoon, authorities in Alton, Texas are reporting that a pair of inmates, Jesus Albert Suarez Chavez, 17, and Roman Orozco Martinez, 22, were caught attempting to escape from the jail. While capturing a prisoner is not very note worthy, how they captured one of them is. During their escape attempt through the air conditioner vents, one of the inmates fell through the ceiling into the office of Police Chief Baldemar Flores. The other inmate was captured attempting to get into the air vent. Needless to say, the walking on ceiling tiles was probably not the best way to escape.

When I heard about this I had two totally different feelings. First, I was reminded of all of the stupid criminal acts, such as robbing a police officer or asking an officer for dope. But then, the cynical side of me perked up and started to wonder if the inmates were then going to sue for possible injuries. In a world where McDonalds can be sued for hot coffee why couldn't the city or the ceiling manufacturer or installer be sued. Was there a warning in the air vent that it could not handle the weight of the person? Maybe it is me, but if we have so many stupid labels on things, maybe the air vents should have them too?

Breastfeeding = Promotion??

You may think this is a joke, but Jiang Xiaojuan, a 30 woman in China, actually received a promotion for breastfeeding. Sure, there is a story behind the headline, but could you even imagine it?

Jiang is a police officer, who is also a mother, who sprung into action after last month's earthquake. To help with the disaster relief work, Jiang breastfed nine babies, earning her the nickname of "the police mum." Due to her "work," Jiang has been awarded numerous titles, including "hero and model police officer" and "excellent member of the Communist Party." Jiang was also appointed to the Communist Party of China Committee of the Jiangyou Public Security Bureau.

Did you ever imagine that breastfeeding would even land a promotion, let alone in China?

Just What Is Your Life Worth?

That is exactly the question that Australian Ian Usher, 44, is asking the world about his life. After his twelve-year relationship (five of which he was married) broke up, Usher decided to put his life up for sale. Usher has listed his life on eBay with a starting bid of 155,000 Australian dollars, which is equivalent to almost 147,500 US dollars. Before you place a bid, though, I think I should let you know what this offer include. If you win the auction, which ends on June 29th, then you are the owner of:
* three bedroom house in Perth, Western Australia,
* a car,
* a motorbike,
* Usher's clothes, and
* Usher's friends (I wonder what they think they are worth).

Additionally, you are entitled to a trial for Usher's job at a local rug store in Australia. If you had to list your life for sale on eBay, what would you list it for? What do you think your spouse would be willing to pay? Do you think they would be able to pay?

23 Pounds Worth of Baby: A Diet In the Making?

Okay, so I say this in complete jest, but could you imagine shedding over 23 pounds in a single day? That is exactly what one woman did in Winston-Salem, North Carolina last week, when she gave birth. The Maynards gave birth to Sean William Maynard and Abigail Rose Maynard, who weighed in at 10 pounds 14 ounces and 12 pounds 3 ounces, respectively, for a combined weight of 23 pounds and 1 ounce. I had heard of some women experiencing back problems while coming to term, but could you imagine. The only thing scarier is that the combined weight of the Maynards fall about four pounds shy of the world record established in 1927 for the heaviest set of twins, which weighed in at a total combined weight of 27 pounds 12 ounces.

The Gates of Hell Are Being Shut Down?

It what seems like a fittingly appropriate post on today, the day I posted about George Carlin's death, I had to share this funny tidbit. In Yonkers, New York, a defunct power plant has acquired a nickname that may nearby residents find unflattering: the Gates of Hell. The Yonkers City Council is now trying to squash the nickname and have the power plant referred to as either the Glenwood Power Station or by its address. It probably does not help that a councilwoman had actually used the nickname, the Gates of Hell, in a flier about a community meeting. Leave it to New York to try to squash the Gates of Hell.

However, when you think about it, is the Gates of Hell, really that bad? Most art aficionados, would think of the sculpture that French artist Auguste Rodin created. The sculpture is over 19 feet high and 13 feet wide and contains 180 figures.

If New York has a Little Italy, why not a Little Gates of Hell? Just a thought! Maybe if Yonkers markets it right, it could turn into a tourist attraction? After all, John McCain said he wants to go to the Gates of Hell.

One of the Greatest Comedians Has Passed On

So I enjoyed my break from blogging and was waiting for the right moment to come back and sadly it has come. For those that have not heard, George Carlin has passed away yesterday in Santa Monica, California. For those of you that do not know who George Carlin is, I am not sure where to begin. (Click here to see all YouTube videos that involve George Carlin.) Carlin is most famous for his "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" routine that he released in 1972, and subsequently released a similar version called "Filthy Word" in 1973. For education purposes only, I will list them below. This routine was aired publicly without censorship and ultimately led to a Supreme Court case, which ruled that the FCC could establish indecency regulations in American broadcasting.

Carlin had been viewed as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, as he constantly changed his routine and usually focused on the flaws in modern-day America. Like all major celebrities, Carlin did have an arrest record. He was arrested for performing his Seven Words routine in Milwaukee. In addition to being a stand-up comedian, Carlin had written a popular book, Brain Droppings, and appeared on numerous television shows and talk shows.

Mere words cannot express how big of a loss this is to a society how needs to learn how to laugh more. Carlin was a mastermind at finding humor in even the most serious situations. George, you will be missed!

Below are a few quotes from Carlin:

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

As promised, here are the seven words. If you do not want to see them, STOP reading.

1. Shit
2. Piss
3. Fuck
4. Cunt
5. Cocksucker
6. Motherfucker
7. Tits

Just for completeness, I should note that Carlin later added three more:
8. Fart
9. Turd
10. Twat